Death House

Today is the first day I am staying in this hospital quarters , the first day in my whole life I am home alone. My  parents accompanied me to this lonely,  remote hospital amidst lush tea plantations,  my first appointment after internship as a doctor.

My mother insisted that she stay back for a while , till I familiarize myself with the surroundings,  as she noted. I wanted to prove to my parents,  that I was already self sufficient,  but with the minute I regret the decision. 

Should , I have had kept my mother ? 

What was reason , behind the hospital attendants  secret whispering when I told them that I had a sound sleep yesterday night? 

Why did Sheela , the elderly attendant  asked me weather I needed company after my parents left ? 

Was I prudish in refusing to ask her for a sleep over ? 

My mother had prepared several dishes that I had only to reheat before partaking,  my only task was to boil some rice. Why was I feeling tired , despite not having to do much at the hospital. My internship days came to my memory, days seems to be one prolonged torture , the only respite being the few hours of dreamless sleep per day , that also if you are fortunate enough.

Now , with no so much to do , seeing only 70-80 outpatients a day and around 10 patients admitted  to the ward appeared like cakewalk compared to the responsibilities during internship. Still why this lethargic feeling ? 

Should I walk out of the quarters towards the hospital  ? Is it something to do with the stuffiness of the air , with all louvers shut to repel the cold winds , I made a mental note to get someone to open several louvers tomorrow .

Then I remembered, this stuffiness is something new , which was not there previously , my parents never complained , to be honest , they were elated to be  here , in this resort type cottage amidst lush tea country.

But pressing concerns in Colombo compelled them to leave. 

What should I do , now ? 

I called my parents , tried to speak to them , to dispel my fears.

“ If you are feeling uneasy , get a cab and come home , little one “ my mother’s panicked voice reached me, or shall we get a cab and come, go to the hospital ward and wait.

My  mother calls me little one , only when she is very much disturbed.

No mommy , nothing to worry, I told my mother. 

I will get an attendant to sleep with me.

I could see the headlines in tomorrow’s newspapers. 

“ Young lady doctor , runs away from the hospital quarters citing demonic influences “ 

What will happen to my career as a doctor? 

May be I should discretely find another place to stay, but I should wait until tomorrow. It doesn’t befall me to run away tonight from a quarters that has been in use for several years citing stuffy air. 

My mother called me two more times, and hopefully she went to sleep as she promised after being assured that I was okay, that I  convinced the night attendant to rest in my quarters. Which of course I didn’t do , because it was illegal.

Who will care for the patients,  in the event of an emergency ?   

With the stopping of the incessant calling fro  my mother,  the creepy feeling resurfaced. 

I desperately needed to use the laevorotary, but my legs didn’t seem to move,  as if a heavy weight was attached to my legs. Have I suffered a stroke, is my oxygen deprived brain playing havoc with my mind? 

I violently dragged my legs, to my immense relief they moved,  and I went to the lavatory .

The fear of a stroke,  temporarily taking away my fear of something unusual in the quarters  , I could muster my courage to explore the rooms of the quarters. 

I thought of taking notes of anything unusual in the surroundings. Armed with a notebook and a pen I meticulously  detailed everything in the rooms. 

It was a massive quarters , with six rooms and three attached bathrooms. Most of the rooms lay bare , only three rooms had my belongings. Most of them in their wrappings , almost. 

When my mother insisted that she arrange them , I prevented her , “ No mother leave them as it is , I will unpack them as need arise “ 

Sleep defies me ,the film I am watching on you tube doesn’t help to drive away the fear , should I engage in something that is physically exhausting? 

How about , sorting out my belongings ?

I take the inventory I made and go to the room where all the unpacked boxes and packaging lie.